8 ’til late……

Just when you’re playing with your fluffy little kitten, that great big black dog frightens it away! After my high on Monday, I seem to be back in the doldrums again…I’ve been putting off ‘phoning the exercise on prescription person and my book it yourself appointment has come today for my hearing test….yes, I’m becoming deaf as well…and I haven’t booked that yet either :/
All this getting up and dressed for 8am ready for the plumber to arrive, is just ‘doing my head in’! My logical thoughts are vying with my imagined outcomes to provide a topsy-turvy view of life…..where is that CBT when you need it? I absolutely know that the bathroom will be MUCH better when it is finished but I just don’t seem to be able to see beyond the present and all the chores that the finished work will present. In fact, blogging is one of the few things that I seem to be able to do to get it all off my chest! At last I am sitting at my desk typing away instead of visiting mailbox, twitter, facebook, blogs…mailbox,twitter,facebook, blogs over and over again. This has taken the time to way beyond midnight most days and so I’m not getting the wind down I need before going to sleep. I DO sleep, but wake up in the morning feeling as if I haven’t and at odds with the world, hence the spending so much time in my pink pyjamas.
Well, that’s MY view of life, but what about the positives, the things I HAVE achieved over the last few days……..?

  • been awake, washed and dressed by 8am most mornings this week
  • been out to the local supermarket and done the weekly shop for the third week on the run
  • made a card and wrapped a present for DS’s birthday…he’s 25 tomorrow….how time flies!
  • made a rhubarb crumble for tea today
  • helped DH put out the rubbish for the weekly collection
  • cooked meals and cleared the kitchen most days

It IS much better than over the dark time I’ve had since about September last year when I refused to go away on holiday because I felt so terrified and stressed about…….? I hope that, as I manage to get all the extra exercise and treatment, the feeling of walking through thick mud in a fog will go and that this year we will be able to have some restful and healing holidays.
Well, it’s getting late now…45 minutes to midnight…let’s see if I can switch off the laptop and get into bed before midnight!
Night :)

Author: irenefitz

Retired teacher and silver surfer. x

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