I awoke to the alarm at 8.00 this morning and realised that it was daylight! This actually made me smile at such an early hour 🙂 So much so, that I decided to tweet this as my one positive thing for the day at Black Dog Tribe .
One of the five different psychiatrists that I’ve been treated by, told me that there was an element of Seasonal Affective Disorder alongside my anxiety and depression. She had worked with patients at a hospital near Aberdeen where they have shorter days than we do in winter because they are farther North. Her advice was to take a walk out in the fresh air at lunchtime when the day is about at its lightest….even if it is a dull day, there is much more beneficial light outside than in your home or place of work and the walk will clear your head for the afternoon. I also looked at daylight lamps and other devices said to alleviate this condition…I finally decided on a daylight alarm that glows gently and brightens ready to wake you at the appointed time. It did wake me during the school holidays when I was more relaxed, but during term time, I had to switch on the gentle beeper or I would drift back off to sleep! Now, if I have to wake up at a certain time, I need to set Radio 2 on DH’s radio alarm so that I need to drag myself out of bed to switch it off!
Soon the days will be longer and some of the feeling of wanting to curl up and just hibernate all winter will disappear but, this will not take away my fear of not being able to keep up with time and of being late. I remember having a panic attack at my GP surgery because I had come for an appointment on time but a day too late….. I felt so ashamed, useless and apologetic that I had wasted the appointment the day before. The receptionists were very understanding and arranged for me to see another doctor straight away and, although I had to make another appointment about the original problem, he was able to calm me down and prescribed some diazepam until then. I then went home, took the medication and didn’t worry about anything else for a week!! I wouldn’t want to feel like that all of the time because it’s rather like having SAD but being chilled. It was just what I needed at the time and helped me to continue with my regular treatment 🙂